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Feb 27

Domestic violence and its phases

By Dominic Hill | Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a special form of violence that violates the right to life, freedom, physical, psychological and sexual integrity, security and human dignity of a family member. It can happen to everyone, regardless of education, age, gender, or any other characteristic. Family violence takes place through various forms of psychological, physical, sexual and material-economic abuse. Although precise data on the extent of domestic violence are missing, since most of the violent acts occur within the four walls and most often remains silent (due to shame, fear, feelings of guilt or lack of information on adequate help services), numerous studies show that domestic violence is very widespread, has serious consequences, and that his victims are far more frequent women and children than adult men.

post1aDomestic violence has three basic phases: raising tension, acutely abusing and re-establishing a relationship. During the “first phase,” the abuser accumulates anger that can be caused by a feeling of dissatisfaction with his view of the situation in the house, unemployment, alcohol consumption and other similar circumstances. At the stage of acute abuse, the anger of the abuser culminates in open harassment, physical assaults, beating, destruction of things around the house, and the like. At the last stage of the cycle, during the re-establishment of the relationship, the perpetrator at all costs tries to gain the victim back through emotional manipulation, often convinced that she is to a large extent guilty of the violence that happened.

Violators can be all. Usually, they are described as brutal people, deprived of emotions. The situation is quite different in most cases. Violators often do not look either disturbed or violent. The abuser is often a “cute” person, very accepted in society, witty and happy. In a certain way, these people live a double life. The abuser usually performs violence deliberately (when there is no one at home or when a child is in his room), and manipulatively (brings flowers, begging for forgiveness).

What about victims?

post1bUnfortunately, victims often suffer for years, before they dare to acknowledge their problems to someone if they ever do. The reason is that society most often immediately condemns them that they are “guilty themselves” for what happened to them. Also, many women decide to stay with the abuser because they do not have the support of the primary family (they do not let them move back, their mothers tell them “I’ve suffered, and you can do it too” and the like).

Domestic violence, like any other form of violence, is a serious problem in society and none of us should close our eyes to it. Everyone has the right to grow up in a family where there are no threats, physical, psychological or sexual abuse!