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Monthly Archives: February 2018

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Feb 27

Consequences of domestic violence

By Dominic Hill | Domestic Violence

Violence against women poses a risk to physical and reproductive health, a The World Health Organization promulgates it as a public health priority a problem, which requires a vigorous action directed at its suppression and termination. Violence leaves different, specific and non-specific, mutually related consequences, and is also the leading cause of injuries when women are seeking medical assistance.

Physical violence develops a variety of mechanical and physical injuries, as well as functional health disorders, the frequency of which varies between 40 and 75%, although the real cause of injuries may remain unclear and unverified, even from experienced health workers. Sexual violence for women who have experienced it three times more often leads to gynecological problems, which are long-lasting and recurrent. Violence is a frequent cause of pregnancy which poses a serious risk to health and life, for both mothers and children.

post3bHealth issues

Domestic violence is chronic stress. Long-term exposure to stress leads to damage to the immune system, which further alleviates a various range of diseases. The most common psychosomatic symptoms include headaches, neck pain, shoulders and back, tics, insomnia, skin rash, anemia, respiratory problems, menstrual disorders, more frequent illness, health deterioration or diseases, abdominal pain, diarrhea, the frequent occurrence of herpes and the like.

Psychological consequences are also numerous and include tension, anxiety, feeling of weaknesses, feelings of fear (for themselves, for children, other family members), shame, guilt, self-neglect, loss of self-confidence, insecurity, feeling helplessness and hopelessness, depression, panic attacks, suicidal ideas, sleep disorders (insomnia, nightmares), disorders in nutrition (anorexia, bulimia, malnutrition, dehydration), lack of tolerance and patience, abuse of tobacco alcohol and drugs, destructive behavior towards others (neglect of children, violence against children, murder violent), self-destructive behavior (attempted suicide and suicide). Learn more about addiction and domestic violence3c

What about children?

Violence in a partner relationship also affects the parent-child relationship and the development of a child. There are different unfavorable factors (poverty, stressful events, and crises, alcoholism in a family, the impact of various types of violence, etc.). Children are exposed to dangers, possible abandonment and abuse, and the child’s relationship with his mother and father changes in different ways. A child that is growing up in a violent family will latter in life possibly became one of his/her parents – either the victim or the abuser. How?

Because the child will have trough its childhood and adulthood wrong role models that will teach them that love family and trust is something broken and that those things always come with pain. The child will either learn that he/she needs to be an abuser to stop being a victim, or that only way to deserve love from someone is to be a victim. This is curable but it needs time and care.

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Feb 27

Strategies and tactics that bullies use

By Dominic Hill | Bullies

The abuser uses some tactics and actions, which leads to the domination and control over the victim. These tactics are used simultaneously, individually or in different combinations, and their choice, way application, intensity, and frequency depend on the characteristics of each perpetrator, his or her assessments and goals him/she wants to achieve.

Bully can resort to physical (and sexual) violence if these tactics do not give the desired effect or when the perpetrator wants to speed them up, enforce or reinforce the effects of violence. The most common tactics are:

post2aPartner control

It begins at the beginning of a relationship, is usually as possessive attention that is gradually spreading to all areas of life of a victim. The violator skillfully camouflages this behavior as love. The goal of this tactic is to achieve obedience, gratitude, even love, with the ultimate goal of accomplishment “voluntary” victims. Controlling all aspects of victims life (including body control) disables the victim so that she begins to believe that she cannot independently carry out basic life activities, and is demoralized.

Threats

They keep the victim in a constant state of fear that is amplified by imposing meaningless demands and rules, by violence that is unpredictable. At the same time, the wholesome participation of “petty graces” undermines the psychological resistance of the victim and creates thpost2ce hope that a change will occur (that the partnership relationship will return to the “old state”). Responsibility for violence is shifted to “external factors” (alcohol, loss of work, economic situation, disobedience of children, etc.). This behavior aims to link the victim to the perpetrator.

Isolation

It enhances the abuser’s power, which is limited as long as the victim maintains its relationships with other people. He tries to isolate the victim from the emotional support and help, so that “the house begins to look like a solitary”. Persistent accusations of unbelief lead the woman to leave her job, break up friendships and family relationships. The more isolated she is, the more dependent she becomes to the only permissible relationship – with a partner abuser. Since there is no “other world” for her, she begins to observe everything around her through the eyes of the abuser, which creates a distorted picture of reality.

Surrender

It is created by the fear, control, isolation, random mercy, and the imposed dependence, and that successfully creates a submissive and obedient victim. The final control is achieved when the victim leaves her moral principles. This implies the belief that the abuser is all-powerful (no one can stop or control him), that the resistance is futile, that life depends on abusers grace, which will come through absolute obedience.

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Feb 27

Domestic violence and its phases

By Dominic Hill | Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a special form of violence that violates the right to life, freedom, physical, psychological and sexual integrity, security and human dignity of a family member. It can happen to everyone, regardless of education, age, gender, or any other characteristic. Family violence takes place through various forms of psychological, physical, sexual and material-economic abuse. Although precise data on the extent of domestic violence are missing, since most of the violent acts occur within the four walls and most often remains silent (due to shame, fear, feelings of guilt or lack of information on adequate help services), numerous studies show that domestic violence is very widespread, has serious consequences, and that his victims are far more frequent women and children than adult men.

post1aDomestic violence has three basic phases: raising tension, acutely abusing and re-establishing a relationship. During the “first phase,” the abuser accumulates anger that can be caused by a feeling of dissatisfaction with his view of the situation in the house, unemployment, alcohol consumption and other similar circumstances. At the stage of acute abuse, the anger of the abuser culminates in open harassment, physical assaults, beating, destruction of things around the house, and the like. At the last stage of the cycle, during the re-establishment of the relationship, the perpetrator at all costs tries to gain the victim back through emotional manipulation, often convinced that she is to a large extent guilty of the violence that happened.

Violators can be all. Usually, they are described as brutal people, deprived of emotions. The situation is quite different in most cases. Violators often do not look either disturbed or violent. The abuser is often a “cute” person, very accepted in society, witty and happy. In a certain way, these people live a double life. The abuser usually performs violence deliberately (when there is no one at home or when a child is in his room), and manipulatively (brings flowers, begging for forgiveness).

What about victims?

post1bUnfortunately, victims often suffer for years, before they dare to acknowledge their problems to someone if they ever do. The reason is that society most often immediately condemns them that they are “guilty themselves” for what happened to them. Also, many women decide to stay with the abuser because they do not have the support of the primary family (they do not let them move back, their mothers tell them “I’ve suffered, and you can do it too” and the like).

Domestic violence, like any other form of violence, is a serious problem in society and none of us should close our eyes to it. Everyone has the right to grow up in a family where there are no threats, physical, psychological or sexual abuse!